How to Handle Sexual Harassment at Work
- Melzetta Moody
- Dec 22, 2017
- 5 min read
"What I know, for sure, is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have."
Oprah Winfrey
Now's the time to start talking about sexual harassment. Actually, no. It's ALWAYS been the time to talk about sexual harassment, but it just so happens that society is finally catching up with the need to address this critical topic. And while I want to be that crusader that tackles all forms of harassment in all aspects of life, I'm going to focus this post on sexual harassment in the workplace. Having been an advocate for employees who have faced singular and repeated incidents of sexual harassment in Fortune 500 Companies, I've learned a few things that I want to share with you.
Speaking up about sexual harassment takes a lot of courage. A victim may have to overcome feelings of embarrassment, shame, and anger before feeling comfortable enough to report it.
Employees should expect a harassment-free, non-hostile work environment that allows them to perform at maximum capacity, right? Generally, yes. It is expected that people would just behave at work and be terrible on their own time. The problem with the American workday is that we spend at least 8 hours in the workplace, most of us even more. So it gives terrible people more time to be terrible around you.
If you have experienced or are currently experiencing sexual harassment, I would recommend the following steps. Please note that this advice is meant to be general for educational purposes. Each case has its own specificities and nuances that I cannot address in a single blog post. But, if anything, I hope this list can give you ideas of what forms of action you can seek, and what types of support are available to you.
Defend yourself from your harasser.
If you find yourself being sexually harassed in real-time, be clear to your harasser (whether it's your boss, your peer, or your subordinate) how their actions are making you feel. Then sternly, tell them to stop. There is no need to be nice, to care for their feelings, or to sugar coat what you have to say.
If you are uncomfortable, you can say, "You are making me uncomfortable, please stop!"
If you are pissed off, you can say "You are being inappropriate and you are pissing me off, stop now!"
If you find yourself shocked/frozen with nothing to say, it's okay. This happens a lot. Remove yourself from the situation. Breathe. Gather your thoughts. Cry. Do whatever you need to take care of yourself in the moment.
Take extraordinary care of yourself.
Understand that this is NOT your fault and that your feelings – whether you are angry, upset, confused, etc. – are valid. Take inventory of how YOU are feeling and know that is where your power resides. You must understand your truth before you can speak it. For us women (and some men), we sometimes do a shitty job of speaking up for ourselves and we often make excuses for other people. Even our harassers. #nomore. It takes courage and confidence to stand up. Do what you need to gain your courage and your confidence.
Document all incident(s) of sexual harassment.
Some of you may have experienced a single incident. Others may have experienced multiple - prolonged incidents of harassment. Either way, documentation is a sure way for you to recall details accurately. I would recommend noting the date, time, location, details of the incident, and the names of any witnesses. Keep your notes safe and secure. DO NOT save your notes on your work computer.
Research your company's policy, reporting procedures AND federal and state laws.
Remember, you are not reporting at this point. You are simply educating yourself. Most companies have a zero-tolerance policy towards sexual harassment. Read through your employee handbook/manual for policies and procedures. But also, be prepared to consider the company's work culture and assess their willingness and ability to address your complaints appropriately.
There are federal and state laws that protect employees from harassment and retaliation. Be sure to research federal laws and specific laws for your state. Additional resource links are located below. #knowyourrights
Special note: If you find that your company does not have a sexual harassment policy or the work environment is "lenient" towards harassment of any kind, I would suggest seeking outside council – preferably someone who you trust to give you sound advice. This could include friends and family members, a business mentor, or an employment lawyer.
Once you are ready to speak up:
Report the incident(s) of sexual harassment to a neutral 3rd party at work.
As a Human Resources professional, I would highly recommend you start with HR. You can also report to a senior manager, preferably someone with the Director title or above as they are considered officers of the company. Any good HR department functions as a neutral 3rd party when investigating sexual harassment incidents. You can expect that they will ask you questions about details surrounding the incident in order to open an investigation. An HR investigation includes interviews with the accused and witnesses, review of any evidence that would substantiate your report, and final recommendations given to senior management. Please note that while HR is not required to share details about the investigation, its methodology, or outcomes, HR may notify you of final actions taken.
If you are uncomfortable reporting an incident of sexual harassment in person, most companies have options to report anonymously. Be sure to check your employee handbook/manual.
While the prospect of reporting may seem daunting, always remember that it is the responsibility of the HR department to create an inclusive environment where employees feel empowered to do great work. You are doing your part.
Keep an eye out for retaliation.
Retaliation exists. Be aware that it can happen to you. Retaliation can come in multiple shapes and forms including, but not limited to:
social isolation in the workplace,
reduced opportunities,
differential treatment from leadership, and
aggressive behavior toward you.
Be vigilant about documenting any form of retaliation against you. Do not allow your harasser or management to bully you or to try to make you quit.
Once the case is concluded:
Follow up can take many forms.
Please note that the HR person is not always required to follow up with you. However, it is still incumbent upon your employer to ensure that the harassment stops. If you are required to switch schedules or positions within the organization to prevent further harassment (and this is a possibility), you will be notified accordingly.
File a complaint with the EEOC.
It is important to ensure that there is a paper trail that documents cases of sexual harassment, even if your complaint to HR was resolved for the moment. If you feel comfortable, I suggest filing a complaint with the EEOC. "The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is a federal agency that administers and enforces civil rights laws against workplace discrimination." In addition to promoting further accountability for your organization, an EEOC complaint is often required should you choose to seek legal action in the future.
Consult with an employment lawyer.
If you believe further legal action is necessary, I recommend consulting a lawyer who specializes in sexual harassment and employment law in your state. Here are some nifty links to legal resources and information that I hope you NEVER have to use.
American Association of University Women (AAUW):
US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC):
Remember, sexual harassment is never okay. There is never a good reason for it. And there is never an excuse. But I do recognize the tremendous amount of courage required to speak your truth. In a world where #metoo is becoming replaced with #timesup, our society still has a lot of work to do. But know that you are not alone, and there are ways to seek #justice.
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